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New Trader Joe’s Foods Reviewed: November 2022

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New Trader Joe’s Foods Reviewed: November 2022


Peppermint Pretzel Slims
These aren’t new, but they’re seasonal and I’ve never had a chance to convey my love for them in this column. You need to stock up when you see them, people. They’re crisp and barely coated in whatever that coating is (melted candy canes maybe?), with a cooling minty crunch that leaves your breath icy and sweet. I feel like Queen Frostine when I eat these, although according to a quick Google, she’s been demoted to Princess Frostine in the latest versions of Candy Land. Excuse me? Is Gloppy behind this? Anyway. Don’t miss these.

English Toffee Bites
These were new last year, but I just got my paws on them. They’re Trader Joe’s version of Almond Roca, in individual snack bag format. Every Christmas, one of my million aunts would give everyone canisters of Almond Roca from TJ Maxx that were dangerously close to expiring. I don’t know if it was the sense of impending staleness or the dusty nutty coating over teeth-cracking toffee that made me house them all in a few days—but I love the stuff. These are slightly softer, maybe because they’re fresher? Either way, just as satisfying. 

A Single Soup

Organic Creamy Mushroom Soup
I appreciated the wild-looking mushrooms in this plastic tub, but the creamy base looked grainy and separated while the flavor was musty and bland, as if seasoned with old socks. A speck of kale and a crumb of carrot floated by, but I never saw them again. After a few spoonfuls, that was enough of that. I think you could improve this blah soup with a squeeze of lemon, a spoonful of sour cream, and a fistful of Fritos, if you bought it by accident. Let this be an accident you can avoid. 



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